When Mornings Start Rough, Fake It 'Til You Make It

Fake it ‘til you make it.

That’s what one great collegiate golf coach that I know tells her players when they’re having a bad round. “Fake it ‘til you make it" means a bad start to a round of golf, or a work day at the office, doesn’t have to always turn into a bad afternoon.

Sometimes you just have to fake it til you make it, or keep plugging away until things improve.

Too many Mondays are like that for me. Today was an especially Manic Monday. At least the morning was. I awoke tired and depressed. The weather was depressing. Work was even worse—at least until after lunch. 

As I’ve blogged about before, there is a natural explanation for why mornings can be harder for those of us who suffer from depression. It’s partly because our body naturally produces more of the stress hormone called cortisol in the mornings.

That can become a vicious cycle because an elevated cortisol level only makes us more stressed out, which then leads to more cortisol, which then leads to even more stress and anxiety.

Enough with the science, which I have only a limited grasp of anyway.

Sometimes I find, like today, if I can just grind through a tough morning, I can end up with a decent afternoon. I end up setting small goals when mornings start out rough. Like make it to my 10 am coffee break. Finish that letter I’ve been procrastinating. And then just make it to lunch.

That can be enough to propel me to the afternoon, when my energy and mood generally improve. I’ll be honest here. It doesn’t always work. Sometimes all the coffee and positive self-talk I can stand doesn’t make tough starts turn into good days. But I try. We always have to try.

This is a bit dramatic perhaps, but we just need to remember the words of the late Jim Valvano, the North Carolina State basketball court who led his team to an unlikely National Championship and then died of cancer a decade later.

“Don’t give up,” Valvano said. “Don’t ever give up.”

 Words to live by.

10 things for which I’m thankful

10 things, in no particular order, for which I am thankful (From the perspective of a man who deals with mental illness).

1) My wife: She has stood by me through good times and bad. Compassionate but candid when I need to be called out for not trying hard enough. Would not be here without her and my kids.

2) Valium: Sometimes it’s the only thing that quiets my anxiety and slows down those racing thoughts.

3) My psychiatrist and my therapist: Good doctors who really understand mental illness are hard to find. If you are depressed and aren’t getting the help you need from an internist, I’d make it a New Year’s Resolution to find a specialist.

4) Chewing gum: Gum is definitely underrated.

5) Drug companies: Tar and feather me for saying this, but if they didn’t invest millions in R&D, we wouldn’t have anti-depressants that improve the lives of millions. I have no problem with them making a profit.

6) Starbucks: They say caffeine can actually help with depression. And their Mocha gives me mojo when I'm feeling down. So drink up.

7) Politics: It’s a good diversion when I don’t want to think about my problems. And it makes me realize there are people who are more confused about life than I am.

8) Blue Bell Ice Cream: I read somewhere that too much sugar can impair the brain’s ability to make enough serotonin. That’s okay. Refer back to #2 and #3.

9) My children: For making me laugh, making me cry, for teaching me about patience and for giving me three really good reasons to get out of bed on the days I don't feel like it.

10)  Football: An even better diversion than politics. Only when my team loses, I have to refer back to #2.

I know it’s been a while since I last blogged, but I haven’t had much to say. Happy Thanksgiving, and feel free to share what you’re thankful for, especially if you deal with mental illness.

Boredom is no cure for depression

There is a vacuum in my mind.

It is a space that feels this relentless urge to latch onto something, good or bad, real or imagined.

Lately, I have felt a sense of boredom at work, not finding my work to be stimulating enough. It’s not that I don’t have work to do. I do. And I do it. It just isn’t very exciting at the moment.

My wife counsels me to just try and enjoy it when things are less hectic, but that is easier said than done for me.

That vacuum in my brain, when not filled with something interesting or exciting, can cause depression and anxiety.

If the vacuum in my mind is not occupied with something stimulating, the ruminations start. And nothing can stop them.

The problem with boredom and depression is that even though we know being actively engaged in something—whether it’s our work or play—would make us feel better, we often don’t feel like expending energy….the one thing that probably would make us less anxious and depressed.

I wonder how many others who suffer from depression and anxiety are worrywarts like me, their minds always searching for something to be preoccupied with?

Please share your experiences or your thoughts about boredom and depression. Maybe someone can even enlighten me on being more “mindful” and just accepting the ebb and flow of life as it comes.

Sharing always helps, and reading your thoughts might cure my boredom.