Never mind the troublesome fact that having one good day is blog worthy. That probably means I have a long way to go in fully recovering from a crash-and-burn episode of severe depression last summer.
Yet that’s a blog for another day. Let’s get back to today. It was a whistle-in-the shower, think funny things, eat chocolate and enjoy life kind of day. Seriously.
Since I reverse engineered a bad day in an earlier blog, let’s walk back through today and see if we can identify what made it a good one. The fact that I didn’t have to go to work today surely is a factor, but I promise you I have just as many bad days on the weekends as I do during the work week—sometimes more. But in the interest of full disclosure, I was off today (work, that is).
- I ate a healthy breakfast. I learned in a partial hospitalization program that good nutrition is key in battling depression. This morning, I had a wheat waffle covered in peanut butter. No syrup!
- I went for a brisk walk. I’m a runner at heart but can’t bring myself to run hard again just yet. I’ve lost my edge, lost that eye of the tiger with this soul-sapping illness. But instead of lying on my ass today, I got it moving. I made two personal phone calls that I needed to make while walking, one to my mom and one to my brother.
- I did not drink alcohol last night. Back when I was a heavy drinker, the next day or two (okay, three) were often brutal. My anxiety would go through the roof. My depression would worsen. That was almost a guarantee.
- I took some time for myself. I went and got a massage. I’ve blogged about the benefits of massage before. It really helps me. If you are screaming through the keyboard that you can’t afford a massage right now or don’t have the time for it, fine. The point is I did something for me and me only. That’s pretty rare for me but it’s critical in recovery.
Today wasn’t perfect. But what day ever is, even for “normal” folks? Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to simplify a complicated illness. Some days are brutal for those suffering from depression no matter what we do. Truth is, today was a good day because of choices I made today, yesterday, and the day before that and probably even the month before that. I’ve been taking my meds and making my appointments with my therapist, for example.
I want to thank you for taking the time to read this blog. I write to cope and, hopefully, connect with others who suffer. If you had a bad day, take heart. Keep fighting. It will get better.
Very glad you had a good day.
ReplyDeleteHope tomorrow is even better.
www.thinking-about-leaving.blogspot.com
Someone,
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting! Please come again.
I'm happy you had such a good day. Here's wishing you many more. : )
ReplyDeleteI hate that since having severe depression my moods have become confusing and mysterious too. I never know exactly why I have good days and horrible days that shouldn't be horrible. But I have found the same things helpful to me too, eating regularly and healthy, exercising even when it's the last thing I want to be doing, taking meds and doing what my therapist/psychiatrist tell me no matter how dumb it seems.
ReplyDeleteI hope you continue to have more good days.
Kat,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. I wish you happy days as well.
My Flighty Soul,
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel. Thanks for stopping by and for posting your comment.
I really identify with what you wrote about depression & anxiety going through the roof in the few days after drinking. There is definitely something about alcohol that does that to you, unfortunately for those of us who enjoy drinking..
ReplyDeleteMeg,
ReplyDeleteGood post. Thanks for visiting. Moderation may be the key. :)
Massages are crucial to me! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLil Ol' Me,
ReplyDeleteMassages are unbelievably helpful for me, too. Just wish they were more affordable!
Jack,
ReplyDeleteI've made it a point to set aside the money every 2 weeks. It is tough. However, for me...I can't work if I am not able to stay pain free and flexible (I work in mass transit. sssshhh...don't tell anyone i'm somewhat annon. on my blog).
And I've found an awesome therapist (massage) who works the mind body connection to its very core.
I saw her today. For significant pain in my low back - pelvis. She found 'other painful' areas and was adament that they were 'deep wounds from some sort of trauma.' She knows NOTHING of my past. Yet, she hits the nail on the head every dang time.
The cost is tough most weeks. And yet, I know that I am in desperate3 need to keep up on them. A few months ago when I was about to be hospitalized my therapist said "call H..." (she sees the same massage therapist and is actually friends and neighbors.)
I like the idea of reverse engineering a good day. I've personally found it very hard to do. But I like the analysis and its good probably to focus on something good, figure out why its good, so you can do it again. Maybe. I was interested to see your comment on alcohol. Alcohol will ruin me for days. Of course, I've been in and out of alcohol treatment, which always made me thought I wasn't depressed so much as I was an alcoholic. But even after quitting for several months, it came back (the depression). Anyway, just glad to have read this and thought I should say so.
ReplyDeleteWow. I'm a recent sufferer of depression, but today was my "What the heck" good day. The fact is, it wasn't even a good day. The situations I faced and things that happened were really very terrible. But my mood was on a high. It was the weirdest thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm weary for tomorrow, but mostly glad to see I'm not alone.
Good post. Value the honesty. Love the courage found in your blog. I would expect helpful to many. Thank you! I started a blog this year hoping to offer bits of hope, thoughts and ideas that could make a difference.
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